“How do I get this past her nose? “

My Nani, born in 1902, was a Tamil Brahmin widow and a torchbearer for indomitable courage and achievement. She was married at age 12 to a much older widower who already had a child. He died when she was 21, leaving her with 3 young children and little money. She had to depend on the largesse of relatives but submission to tradition as a cloistered widow was not for her. She would not wear a pale saree and be without a blouse as widows were expected to be then! She would study and educate her children.  

The young woman embarked on a pioneering journey: many ‘Firsts’ that led her to become an extraordinary woman including becoming the first graduate of Karnatic music from Queen Mary’s College in Madras.  Among her other firsts was to ‘cross the seas’ to take up a paid job in London – an absolute no-no for a widow in those days! And there she enthusiastically plunged into learning and liking Western cuisine. While she remained a vegetarian, she enjoyed her wine and champagne and maintained her enjoyment of these finer things of life till her death at the age of 91!

Her daughter (my mother), on the other hand, was quite strict – no eggs and no alcohol in any form. And that was a pity because Nani was good at desserts. One day in Bangalore, when we were visiting her, Nani (into her 70s by then) was having guests for dinner. One of Nani’s specialties was Trifle Pudding. But while most others would drench the pound cake in the first layer of the pudding in orange juice, she would have none of it. She would use RUM! But my mother would not have touched it! Before making the pudding, she asked me, “How do I get this past your mother’s nose?” Certainly, a weighty problem! We decided that we would use just enough of rum for moistening the cake and since it would anyway be covered in layers of fruit, custard, and ice cream, the rum flavour would not come through. So, the conspiratorial grand Trifle Pudding was the piece de resistance of the dinner. As my mother placed a little on her plate we watched with trepidation: “Aha!! I can smell it!” No amount of cajoling could then persuade her to try it.  You simply cannot ‘trifle’ with me, she said to her mother!